I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
only if we run a train.
done.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
