I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
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