She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
It's never too late to be topless.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
