As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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