Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
