I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Randomize
