dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
