A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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