my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
