He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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