I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
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