Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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