Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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