I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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