Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Randomize
