Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
