so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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