And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
