My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
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