We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
I'm really busy with my period
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