He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I'm passing your future prison.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
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