Cold hands, warm shart.
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
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