Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
