Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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