i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
