we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize