My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
