i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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