with your own penis?
i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
His hands were made for my vagina.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
