Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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