Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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