Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
