What a fucking waste of an outfit
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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