Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
That was before I lit my hair on fire
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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