Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
