Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
