let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Randomize
