I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
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