it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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