oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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