remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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