this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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