i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Randomize
