so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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