just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
