I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
