the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
