I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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