Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
you had me at cake vodka
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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