I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
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