I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
