So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
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