Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Randomize
