He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Randomize
