i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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