O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
