Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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