I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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