So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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